Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
