You really coming over, don't trick.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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