update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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