I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
