I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
