did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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