Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
