Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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