is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
