You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Randomize
