just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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