it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
