Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
