and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis needs a shock collar
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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