Sry I called you an 8
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
