My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
