Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
