we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
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