He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
