The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
