checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Also, beer. Big fan.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
