Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
