Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
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