Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
