he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
