Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
