They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
