Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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