I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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