People in love make me want to vomit
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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