I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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