can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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