That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
