Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
kristin has been a bad kristin
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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