If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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