screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We are two peas in an std pod
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You made out with two different species that night
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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