I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
