i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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