K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I think I am morally bankrupt
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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