Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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