yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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