i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
