Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
