WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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