who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
