is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She announced her abortion via fbk
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
