Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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