having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
