I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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