Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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