8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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