It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
