break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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