I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
