Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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