I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
