Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
