then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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