It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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