I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
