I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
